I was on the phone with a friend today and had just picked up my 4 year old. As we chatted my daughter began making monster noises, singing, and then screaming. Obviously, she didn't want me on the phone but unable to express that she decided to call attention to herself. I was able to redirect her attentions for a bit, but not before my friend noted "this is a good form of birth control for me right now". I laughed, we had a rough morning that had delayed me for work because she didn't want to wear pants after it had rained this morning. As I shared my morning adventures with my friend she said she understands why parents are stressed.
I was like yeah, every aspect of your single life changes, you have to take longer in the morning getting ready- not because of your own needs, but theirs. Picking them up from school and into the car takes a lot of patience and time. Deciding randomly to run to the store real quick will surely require more time and energy than you planned. When you want a baby and everyone asks if you will have another, not many people talk about the challenging days.
The days you are ready for work just to have your kid smear the toothbrush all over you, the days where they won't wear pants and in the fluster of getting them ready your forget your laptop at home and have to go back, the days where things just take longer.
Only parents talk about these things. And other parents are the first to tell you- I know that, I have been there, and have you met my kids (my favorite lol). There is a shared commissary of these challenging days. But at the end of the day you would have no other way. The moments of awe struck joy and love that come with being a parent is something that cannot be explained in words.
But in regards to keeping your sanity- well, you have to find what works for you. I choose to live differently. I abandon guilt when I spend time alone, with friends, or simply running to the store- because thankfully she has 2 of us. I also HAVE to prioritize myself. Not get to, or should... I have to prioritize myself or I will lose my mind!! For real, I am not perfect, and I have a lot of unlearning to do to remain patient, calm, or sane. I have struggled with anxiety, overcome adversity, and I am not the best sometimes.
Recently, I was a bit off. During these times I get quiet, I ask myself what I need. And right now, I am doing a mindset course. Because when I am not doing so well the internal dialogue can turn into a less than positive narrative. I am enjoying it, and feeling like I am getting back on track. Life comes with its peaks and valleys, I am glad for another upswing. Thankful for the chaos, and the ability to live differently.
